4 points

That is all that separates me from a National Boards teacher! I missed it by 4 points! I knew I would not pass on the first try since only 37% of teacher do. But to put in so much effort and come so close, it kills me! On the other hand I am trying to remember to be thankful it was so close because it should make my retake a little easier! I have signed up to redo one of the essays. The good thing about that is I can have people proof it and I can work with a coach while writing. The bad thing is that it is going to be another long process! I will send it in around April 15th and then have to wait until next fall for the scores.

I had to pick my lowest writing score to redo and it was the hardest one for me... hence the lowest score. So, redoing that one scares me! It also scares me that I do not have a safety net this time. I can't say "well, if I don't pass I can always redo something." this time! Now it is more like "if I don't pass this time... I have to start the WHOLE process over again!" So the pressure is worrying me. But, I don't have to do much better. Last time I got a 2.00 on this paper. This time, I only need a 2.25 and I get to focus on this one all on its own and I have some feedback on what I did wrong. So it should not be hard to make it better... even if it is just a little better for that extra .25!

I will just feel really stupid if I miss it because I still couldn't figure this essay out! This is the one that most of the teacher I have talked to have either done the worst on or did as their retake. But... I am going to at least try my hardest. I am going to use every resorces I have and I am going to work my pregnant bottom off on it! Then, if it doesn't happen the next time around I will know I did everything I could and it was just not meant for me to pass. Failure is hard... but you learn more from it!